Meaningfulness of Words

Where I come from, words are meaningful. Maybe it's because I come from a place where very few words are used. Let's face it, without communication there rarely can be a relationship.

To hear someone tell me that they appreciate me, that they love me and cherish me is lovely. What can I say, it's a human thing. On a higher level, we know that we are loved, but how much of spiritual experience do we want to live in this human body? Aren't we here because we chose to live this life before materialising of our physiological bodies and feel all emotions and feelings on a human emotional guidance scale? Or can you even say that one is more important than the other?

Big questions, I know.

Today I had lunch with my dear friend, Tom. We were looking at monogamist relationship versus connecting with many people at the same time. Having always known that I was not into polygamist relationships (and yes, I tried, even against my better knowing), my view was pretty clear cut - not for me.

Tom made a good point; the more you share your attention between partners, the more you tend to take singular qualities from each person and discard the rest. It's simply not possible to explore the wholeness of each person and to get to know them on a deep level at the same time.

My view on it is, that I want to know one person; wholly; at the time. I want to learn unconditional love through a wholistic approach, not just on an airy-fairy "let's all love everyone" kind of a superficial, un-examining way.

If words are not given any value in regards to how they are used, what's the point of using any words at all? To hear me say, "I love you" is rare. Those words to me are sacred. It doesn't mean that I can't let someone know that they are important to me, even dear and appreciated. I do choose my WORDs very carefully.

While I understand universal love and oneness, I feel that there is something very delicious about the human experience and the ability to feel feelings and emotions. You can be sure that I will never be willing to sacrifice that ability in the name of spirituality, no way, no how!

The Divine Feminine says; "True spirituality allows."

She suggests that it allows everything, the duality of human existence and spiritual connection; every single point of view. No-one is wrong, it's just all of us in it together, wanting different experiences at different times, I guess the trick for me is to connect with one, who has the same angle of appreciation.

My question is; is it our language; our words; or our value system that needs to be in alignment with our potential partner? Or will all of this be a non-issue, if there is sufficient communication and willingness to understand one another? Are you (am I) committed (to yourself and your personal growth and deeper understanding) to go deeper than skin to find out the wholeness of your (my) partner and the gifts that these revelations bring to your own life?

Much love,
M

PS. See how I didn't say "I love you", but found another way of expressing my appreciation for our universal oneness. Peace.

Wicked Games - Jealousy Pt 2

What's interesting is how things re-surface, even though you think you've dealt with the issue. If you've ever experienced a re-surfacing emotion, you know exactly what I'm talking about. When my jealousy re-surfaced, instead of beating myself up for feeling likeI would have done before, I just went WEEEEEEE!!! with my fall from the heights I had reached before. I may be falling, but I know I'll bounce back up higher and stronger than ever before. I now know about my love trampoline below me.

The reason for my re-surfacing jealousy was not the fact that I felt like I was being left for something better, which, indeed was the case as I was growing up. It was the fact that I had lost confidence on myself as a result of being kicked in the head by a horse less than a week previously.

Having dealt with the physiological results of the impact including the psychological shock, I felt very well physically and psychologically about the incident, but emotionally I had lost my confidence in myself and life, and as a result, I started having nightmares where I was being assaulted, I started hearing stories about break-ins, and I started to see evidence of my loved ones being deceitful. Only because I had lost confidence in MYSELF.

The common denominator here is ME. Because it's ME who feels powerless, it's ME who sees evidence of powerlessness everywhere. And this is something that only I (ME) can take responsibility of.

Having dealt with issues of jealousy before and understanding that underneath it all is MY depressed sense of self worth, I know I can deal with it again. Whatever emotions surface, regardless of the subject, it's never about the thing that triggers the emotion; It's never about the other person.

Understanding that will automatically put the responsibility of finding a better feeling place back to me and it let's the other person off the hook.

What I do when this occurs is I go into myself with the goal of finding a better feeling place about myself and the rest will follow. When I feel well in myself, I will, once again, see evidence of empowerment, love and understanding. But until I do, I don't go "trying to sort things out" with that other who has "hurt my feelings".

Until then,
With love.
M 

My Trampoline of Love (sounds naughty)

Remember when you were a child and you were bouncing up and down on a trampoline? The more enthusiastically you jumped and the wider the trampoline you had, the higher you could bounce after a while of jumping on it.

Our love is like a trampoline; we all have a trampoline of love. Some of us wear our heart on our sleeves - expressing ourselves, not afraid to show how wide and deep a trampoline we have. Some of us want to keep our trampoline to ourselves and not let anyone see us bounce, just in case we fall off it and can't preserve our dignity.

Like many people, I've had several trampolines over the years. My first one I kept behind closed curtains, and rarely let anyone see me bounce. It was a small one, quite a shallow one, like some of those gym exercise trampolines where you do aerobic bouncing in a class. I was testing it out, small bit at the time, making sure I was making no mistakes or that I didn't lose my balance.

My next trampoline was one where sometimes I invited others to join me, still on my bouncing terms and still very aware of how I looked, but this time a little more trusting.

My trampoline after that was one I thought I was going to hold on to for the rest of my life. I got very familiar, with the basic bouncing, I felt comfortable. It was nothing too exciting, but at the same time the bouncing was pretty safe. We were bouncing higher and higher together, gathering nice momentum, until my bouncing partner started to bounce slower and slower, breaking the rhythm. He was determined not to bounce any higher than he had to, and inevitably we bounced out of each others' experiences.

All of a sudden I found myself bouncing alone, out of sync, randomly from one side of my old trampoline to the other. Then my trampoline collapsed. I was exhausted from the random bouncing and didn't feel like bouncing for a while. And of course, I had to either fix the old trampoline or build a new one.

I rested. Then I built a new one.

I was determined to open myself up more, build a wider and deeper trampoline than ever before and not be afraid to allow new heights.

Like with all trampolines, the higher you jump, the further you fall and the heavier you fall, the higher you sky-rocket again!

I became fearless. I let it all go. I left all preconceived ideas about love and relationships behind and went for it!

I now know that when I hit the trampoline, I plummet deeper into myself; allowing more understanding and love to come forth when inevitably I sky-rocket to an even higher level of love on my way up. And let me tell you, the view from the new heights is breathtaking!

Only this time, when I fall again, in stead of screaming NOOOOOO, I scream WEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Love
M

The Perfect Partner - an illusion or a probability?

As many of you and my nearest and dearest know, I'm an avid manifestor of; well; pretty much anything I want. Would it work with my perfect partner?

Many say: become the person you want to meet. I'm thinking; OK, but what about the complimenting qualities which would bind our experiences tighter together, while allowing even more understanding and personal development?

I've come to a few conclusions about myself: I want to pair up with a man who's passionate about what they do, and who know what they want (from their life).

The reason why these two things are very important to me is because it's important to me that my partner understands and appreciates my passion or "calling" to my work fully. The second point of knowing oneself, well; knowing self leads to understanding self better and as a by-product, understanding others at a deeper level.

I know we all want different things, and so I asked my 72-year old client about the secret to a happy marriage, and she responded:
Kindness - be there and be kind for another.
Laughter - have fun with one another.
Appreciation - be appreciative about your and your partner's values.

For me, I think she hit the nail in the head with her responses.

I've observed women recently, especially here in Ireland and it seems like we have forgotten to be kind, appreciative and humorous. We're so worried about equality while trying to keep the traditions going, that we forgot one of our own strengths, while adopting more masculine qualities. It's become a very confusing situation altogether here in Ireland, when it comes to relationships. The roles have changed drastically in the last few decades and the newly experienced "freedom" has certainly changed the face of our "everywoman".

Women here have become very assertive out of fear of losing control and dignity. They've become more independent (again, a fear-based trigger) and they demand more of themselves trying to establish and prove themselves in the workforce. No wonder guys have become afraid to ask girls out, to commit and show chivalry or any kind of vulnerability.

The song of a happy woman's laughter is often times overtaken by seriousness of life, once the kids come along and grown-ups forget about themselves and their own needs. And when we don't feel like our needs are being met, NOBODY is having ANY fun!

Women's natural appreciation for love and family tends to be there only for those special occasions; anniversaries, Christmases and graduation days, when the only time ever is right now. The more a man spends on a Valentine's flowers, the more he cares. Hmmm....

We often times don't realise that we have the power to change how we view things. Not only do we have the responsibility to ourselves to be happy and content in ourselves, we have the opportunity to show the future generations how it's done.

Often times, provided that there's a mutual willingness to find a resolution and common tune, any relationship can be turned around. Being divorced, I can say that it absolutely takes two to tango, but if your partner is not willing to evolve, don't worry. Just hold on to the picture of your own happiness and appreciation, bless your current partner with all his attributes, and your perfect partner will arrive to your life. It may be the one who you're already with, or a new partner will be attracted into your experience, and the transition will be inevitable.

Regardless of your current relation status and situation, follow the wisdom of the Divine Feminine: "Right now is the time when I appreciate your every quality, my perfect partner. Right now is when we can laugh, and fool around. Right now is the time to see my kindness reflected in you."

It's OK to be kind, happy and appreciative. It's OK to turn off the news for a month and see how much resource and love there is all around us. Switch off the negative expression of relationships in form of news, drama and sitcoms. Switch off your telly, open your heart and your mind will eventually follow.

My perfect partner, you're only an adjustment away. An adjustment of my own alignment.

Much love,
M

Wicked Games - Boundaries

Boundaries happen, even if we'd like to think that there should be no need for them. There are two types of boundaries; ones set up out of fear and ones set up with expansion in mind.



Binding boundaries; 

These are set when we feel that we need to protect our space, values or belief systems. Binding boundaries always have the overriding feeling of threat associated with them. They are set out of defensiveness or offensiveness, and they do not promote personal growth or expansion. Most people are not used to settng boundaries, because they have been conditioned to be the "good boy/girl" that they should be. As a result, when people first start setting any boundaries, they usually start with setting binding boundaries.

Setting binding boundaries is a great way of moving on to more conscious beingness, as for the first time, with binding boundaries, you're starting to "stand up" for yourself and what you believe.


Expansive boundaries;

These are set when we reach our next level of understanding and choose our direction of thought, sometimes followed by action. The action part of expansive boundaries are very close to the binding boundaries, and when we set expansive boundaries, we have to be sure that we are doing it out of it feeling right, not because we feel we need to protect our new place of consciousness from someone or some thing.

Expansive boundaries occur from higher knowingness, an understanding that everything is perfect as is. There is also a sense of eagerness for more.


My favourite story about a binding/expansive boundaries is a story of my friend, Gemma. She had been studying spirituality for years; chanting, transformation of cellular memory, the works. She met Mark at one of these weekend workshops, and they instantly fell in love.

They lived in different parts of the world, Gemma in the UK and Mark in the US. They were on skype constantly. Gemma went to the States to meet with Mark and Mark was planning to some over, but something always happened and he kept changing his travel plans. 6 months went by and the distance and the time difference was causing difficulties. They spoke more and more rarely, and Gemma had a feeling that Mark was not as into her as he had been before. There was always a reason why he wasn't on this plane and that. Gemma was livid; she had put her life on hold for a year for empty promises. She started to work on it.

She tapped into herself regularly, meditating around the problem, and allowing understanding to come forth. She spoke to our mutual friend, Tom, got help from him and understood that Mark was only acting out his ego, because he was afraid that he wouldn't be good enough for her.

Gemma spoke to Mark about her observations, feelings and thoughts. She tried to get on the same page with him, but he was not willing to let go of his ego driven fear. He became frustrated, angry and accusatory. He set further boundaries, claiming that Gemma wanted to have a co-dependent relationship and that he had no interest in ever being told what to do and when to do it.

Gemma decided to let him follow his path, and cut out regular communication.

Gemma, having had her own relationship issues; sense of abandonment and unworthiness; and having worked through them was not willing to live that reality again. She felt that she was in a higher understanding of the truth about herself, seeing the perfection of others, and wanting to expand even more.

She wanted to expand in love, mutual partnership, looking to starting a family, and she was firmly holding on to her vision and her own path. Mark had decided not to walk that path with her, and that was ok, as Gemma believed that everyone's path is perfect for them.

Having got clarity on her path, she soon met Larry. Larry was not only spiritual, he was looking for the same experiences in the human realm as Gemma. They sussed each other out for a while, but inevitably got together, fell in love and even now, 15 years later, they live in co-creative expansiveness and support of one another.

Their respect for one anothers' preferences matched to a tee. Not because there's only one soul mate for everyone, but because there was ability and willingness to align with one another. Neither one of them felt compromised; and both of their "needs" were fulfilled.

Gemma had chosen to set an expansive boundary with Mark, not because she was afraid of what would happen if she didn't, and not because she wanted to fit him into her box, but because of her keenness to continue her own growth. She knew the direction that was right for her and followed it, showing unconditional love towards herself and her values. She never doubted her path, not once.

It was only a question of time, before her match would appear. She had let go of all expectations; there was no pressure to meet anyone; it was just the heart-filling knowingness that took over and guided her to her perfect partner.

I so love this story.
To Gemma and Larry!

Love,
M

Exploring the true self - even at the cost of a relationship breakdown?

It took me a long time to get to know myself. I remember, I had been living in Ireland for 5 years and; most of them miserable, as I missed home and my friends. The only thing keeping me here was my ex. I had literally slotted myself into another's life without my own family, friends, hobbies and a proper career. I has been accepted into a prestigious bodywork school in Helsinki a year before, but had turned it down as I was convinced that my relationship with my ex-husband was the most important thing.

Looking back at it; I had given up what meant everything to me; horses included. I was living in the suburbs, not driving and poor public transport left me with little ability to even get away to the countryside which I so loved.

Bottom line: I was living someone else's life in exchange to a relationship.

So, 5 years into it I got sick of being miserable and lonely. No, I had no desire to sit in the pubs and talking to my ex's friends' girlfriends and wives about nail polish and hair. I wanted real friends. I wanted a real career. I wanted to live in the country and I wanted horses and dogs and everything! Most importantly, I wanted to be loved for who I was, not who I was supposed to be.

That year; 2002, I started to study bodywork in Ireland. I got myself a driver's license and I started to get my own friends. It was a year of exploration of self and what was important to me.

2003 I got my bodywork qualifications, started to practise and really allow myself to come forth. I truly believe that the opening with the bodywork to my stream was the key to everything else to follow. It started the flow; it allowed me to explore myself, my abilities, my likes and dis-likes, I got to meet and help amazing people and to this day; every client I see amazes and delights me.

Needless to say, he didn't want the same things. Yes, I'm divorced now, but my life is perfect. I have my home in the country which I share with my dog and my cat. I have 5 delightful horses who keep teaching me more and more about myself every day. I have a successful career in bodywork; clinic, colleagues working with me, and last but not least; I have the most beautiful friends in my life. I am truly happy and my heart sings from fullness of love and appreciation.

To share this happiness with another; this bliss; would be lovely, but it's not necessary. I will never again compromise what's important to me; this life that I've created, and these relationships that I've co-created. But for sure; there's room for one more to join in! ;)

As always; I keep the intention remembering that the timing is none of my business.

 Can you see my halo - Liberty Bell

 Part of the herd

 Kit

Welcome home

Love,
M

Touch

Touch

The silent message
with the power of a steam train
the lover's reminder of soul connection.


Touch

Inside burning
sensation of wanting
to go with another.


Touch

The meaning of everything
the knowing of bodies
evidence of life.


To be touched is to live.

Love,
M