My Divine Feminine: Exploring the true self - even at the cost of a relationship breakdown?

It took me a long time to get to know myself. I remember, I had been living in Ireland for 5 years and; most of them miserable, as I missed home and my friends. The only thing keeping me here was my ex. I had literally slotted myself into another's life without my own family, friends, hobbies and a proper career. I has been accepted into a prestigious bodywork school in Helsinki a year before, but had turned it down as I was convinced that my relationship with my ex-husband was the most important thing.

Looking back at it; I had given up what meant everything to me; horses included. I was living in the suburbs, not driving and poor public transport left me with little ability to even get away to the countryside which I so loved.

Bottom line: I was living someone else's life in exchange to a relationship.

So, 5 years into it I got sick of being miserable and lonely. No, I had no desire to sit in the pubs and talking to my ex's friends' girlfriends and wives about nail polish and hair. I wanted real friends. I wanted a real career. I wanted to live in the country and I wanted horses and dogs and everything! Most importantly, I wanted to be loved for who I was, not who I was supposed to be.

That year; 2002, I started to study bodywork in Ireland. I got myself a driver's license and I started to get my own friends. It was a year of exploration of self and what was important to me.

2003 I got my bodywork qualifications, started to practise and really allow myself to come forth. I truly believe that the opening with the bodywork to my stream was the key to everything else to follow. It started the flow; it allowed me to explore myself, my abilities, my likes and dis-likes, I got to meet and help amazing people and to this day; every client I see amazes and delights me.

Needless to say, he didn't want the same things. Yes, I'm divorced now, but my life is perfect. I have my home in the country which I share with my dog and my cat. I have 5 delightful horses who keep teaching me more and more about myself every day. I have a successful career in bodywork; clinic, colleagues working with me, and last but not least; I have the most beautiful friends in my life. I am truly happy and my heart sings from fullness of love and appreciation.

To share this happiness with another; this bliss; would be lovely, but it's not necessary. I will never again compromise what's important to me; this life that I've created, and these relationships that I've co-created. But for sure; there's room for one more to join in! ;)

As always; I keep the intention remembering that the timing is none of my business.