My father was an alcoholic. Why does anyone become one? Or an addict?
Because they can't deal with reality, they feel so dis-empowered.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not against drink or people taking drugs to feel better about themselves. If it's the only way to like yourself, then it'll do, for now.
But the trick, and the way out of addiction is self exploration and expansion. Once we start to know ourselves a bit better, escapism, such as drink and drugs will fall away. I used to have a glass of wine every evening with my meal, after a long day. I didn't consider myself having a drinking problem, but when I one night didn't have wine at home, and instead of going "oh well", I got back into my car and drove to the local petrol station to get a bottle of some petrol-station-quality wine, I realised that I needed it, rather than wanted it. Holy cow!
I now look at people around me. They work hard and go out at the weekends. Granted, I reckon, once you have kids, you tend to calm down a little. Looking at this behaviour from an escapism point of view; one could make an observation that people don't generally like their lives from Monday to Thursday. But oh, that Friday feeling! Freedom!
Makes you think that 4 days out of 7 in your week you don't feel free. And what is that freedom? Time for self exploration and relaxation? Time to see friends? Maybe doing the work you love? How many people actually do the work that they LOVE and feel a calling for?
And another thing: why do a lot of men and women need to be intoxicated to tell each other how they feel? It's like we are so afraid of rejection, we'll need something to take the sting out of it, something drinkable that numbs our feelings. If you do get together in a drunken state, how is it feeling in the morning, when the alcohol has worn off and you find yourself in bed with someone you don't know sober?
Escapism through substances is only step one in denying your true self and your needs. Once it becomes a pattern, it can lead to more frequent substance abuse, as it now becomes a crack of least resistance for tolerating oneself and one's life.
Alcoholism - excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages - in my words "dependency on alcohol to make you feel better about yourself and your life" is a large part of our society. My question is; when does it start? When did we decide that it's ok to become a victim of circumstance and not carry out the responsibility to ourselves and as a ripple effect to our families to live a happy and a real life?
My alcoholic father had an effect on me growing up: I had massive abandonment issues and I didn't trust men. On the good side, however, I learnt not to depend on anyone to provide me anything and I had to learn how to be with the opposite sex from scratch as I was growing up; no pre-conceived ideas passed on from the last generation.
I feel blessed about these lessons, but can't help but wonder; is it necessary to go through all that to become independent?
I get turned on by a man high on life. A man who does what they love and love what they do. A ma who knows what they want. A man who will not compromise their alignment with their source for any reason.
There's nothing as erotic to a woman, as a man who is genuinely themselves. "Flaws" and all.
Much love,
M
Because they can't deal with reality, they feel so dis-empowered.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not against drink or people taking drugs to feel better about themselves. If it's the only way to like yourself, then it'll do, for now.
But the trick, and the way out of addiction is self exploration and expansion. Once we start to know ourselves a bit better, escapism, such as drink and drugs will fall away. I used to have a glass of wine every evening with my meal, after a long day. I didn't consider myself having a drinking problem, but when I one night didn't have wine at home, and instead of going "oh well", I got back into my car and drove to the local petrol station to get a bottle of some petrol-station-quality wine, I realised that I needed it, rather than wanted it. Holy cow!
I now look at people around me. They work hard and go out at the weekends. Granted, I reckon, once you have kids, you tend to calm down a little. Looking at this behaviour from an escapism point of view; one could make an observation that people don't generally like their lives from Monday to Thursday. But oh, that Friday feeling! Freedom!
Makes you think that 4 days out of 7 in your week you don't feel free. And what is that freedom? Time for self exploration and relaxation? Time to see friends? Maybe doing the work you love? How many people actually do the work that they LOVE and feel a calling for?
And another thing: why do a lot of men and women need to be intoxicated to tell each other how they feel? It's like we are so afraid of rejection, we'll need something to take the sting out of it, something drinkable that numbs our feelings. If you do get together in a drunken state, how is it feeling in the morning, when the alcohol has worn off and you find yourself in bed with someone you don't know sober?
Escapism through substances is only step one in denying your true self and your needs. Once it becomes a pattern, it can lead to more frequent substance abuse, as it now becomes a crack of least resistance for tolerating oneself and one's life.
Alcoholism - excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages - in my words "dependency on alcohol to make you feel better about yourself and your life" is a large part of our society. My question is; when does it start? When did we decide that it's ok to become a victim of circumstance and not carry out the responsibility to ourselves and as a ripple effect to our families to live a happy and a real life?
My alcoholic father had an effect on me growing up: I had massive abandonment issues and I didn't trust men. On the good side, however, I learnt not to depend on anyone to provide me anything and I had to learn how to be with the opposite sex from scratch as I was growing up; no pre-conceived ideas passed on from the last generation.
I feel blessed about these lessons, but can't help but wonder; is it necessary to go through all that to become independent?
I get turned on by a man high on life. A man who does what they love and love what they do. A ma who knows what they want. A man who will not compromise their alignment with their source for any reason.
There's nothing as erotic to a woman, as a man who is genuinely themselves. "Flaws" and all.
Much love,
M
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