Once upon a time, I thought I was in a relationship. Well, I was in it, but he was not forthcoming of his willingness to commit. I had enough and went single.
It took me a while to realise that even though on a gut level, I knew there was no commitment from him, on a personal level, I was buying into some false premises about how a relationship should be, and what we should mean for one another. Of course, the bottom line is no-one can be owned. On the other hand, you can be committed without being suffocated. Mutual appreciation is the key.
When I understood that non-committal relationships are like possible joint ventures (JVs) in business, I got it. After all, business is my playing field. If it's anything to do with business, I'll just do a merja on it, and it'll be a success. Guaranteed.
Doing a merja on it, in business, means being committed to your end result and seeing who else wants to play. Since I'd become so good at it in business, why couldn't I do it in love?
A successful candidate for a business JV is honest in communication, without blackmailing them emotionally by threatening them with another JV partner. For example, if I was a massage therapist in a JV with a gym, I wouldn't go telling a possible JV partner about how the other gym makes me feel as a therapist and how they're willing to offer this and that. I'd just simply be open and honest about what I'm willing to offer, what I expect in return, and ask them if they're interested. If they're unsure, I just ask them to give me a call if they want more information, and/or when they've made up their mind about their commitment to a JV.
As the world indeed is our oyster, there are many possible JVs around for us all. It does not have to be that particular one, and if they're not interested, just move on. Look for opportunities to approach other possible JV partners and ask if they're interested, once you've determined whether or not you want to work with them. You'd never sit at home for 5 hours waiting for a possible JV partner to call if you wanted to be a success in business. You'd go out there and talk to people!
You'll also find that you are approached with JV suggestions. Ponder them, see how they feel to you and be honest. They're either for you or not; negotiate, if needed.
The most important thing in a successful JV - once the commitment is made - is regular communication. It's so important to know what your JV partner is thinking, and how the deal is working for both of you. It has to be a win-win, as if any one party in a JV feels like they're not getting a good deal, they will eventually lose momentum and will likely move on to another JV. Like any relationship, a JV needs nurturing, practical commitment to agreed procedures and mutual appreciation.
Best of luck with your JVs - be blessed. And if in doubt, just do a merja on it - commit yourself to the end result and see who else wants to play!
Much love,
M
It took me a while to realise that even though on a gut level, I knew there was no commitment from him, on a personal level, I was buying into some false premises about how a relationship should be, and what we should mean for one another. Of course, the bottom line is no-one can be owned. On the other hand, you can be committed without being suffocated. Mutual appreciation is the key.
When I understood that non-committal relationships are like possible joint ventures (JVs) in business, I got it. After all, business is my playing field. If it's anything to do with business, I'll just do a merja on it, and it'll be a success. Guaranteed.
Doing a merja on it, in business, means being committed to your end result and seeing who else wants to play. Since I'd become so good at it in business, why couldn't I do it in love?
A successful candidate for a business JV is honest in communication, without blackmailing them emotionally by threatening them with another JV partner. For example, if I was a massage therapist in a JV with a gym, I wouldn't go telling a possible JV partner about how the other gym makes me feel as a therapist and how they're willing to offer this and that. I'd just simply be open and honest about what I'm willing to offer, what I expect in return, and ask them if they're interested. If they're unsure, I just ask them to give me a call if they want more information, and/or when they've made up their mind about their commitment to a JV.
As the world indeed is our oyster, there are many possible JVs around for us all. It does not have to be that particular one, and if they're not interested, just move on. Look for opportunities to approach other possible JV partners and ask if they're interested, once you've determined whether or not you want to work with them. You'd never sit at home for 5 hours waiting for a possible JV partner to call if you wanted to be a success in business. You'd go out there and talk to people!
You'll also find that you are approached with JV suggestions. Ponder them, see how they feel to you and be honest. They're either for you or not; negotiate, if needed.
The most important thing in a successful JV - once the commitment is made - is regular communication. It's so important to know what your JV partner is thinking, and how the deal is working for both of you. It has to be a win-win, as if any one party in a JV feels like they're not getting a good deal, they will eventually lose momentum and will likely move on to another JV. Like any relationship, a JV needs nurturing, practical commitment to agreed procedures and mutual appreciation.
Best of luck with your JVs - be blessed. And if in doubt, just do a merja on it - commit yourself to the end result and see who else wants to play!
Much love,
M
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